Instead of giving a long list of links for you to read the previous scenes in my book, might I point you to the "Categories" at the left? Mosey down to "my first book--scenes", click there and scroll down to wherever you have to start.
Go on. We'll wait for you.
Back? Okay. Without further ado, I give you Scene Seventeen.
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Almost a week later I still could not completely remember the police interview after the entire ordeal. Nor did I remember much about the trip to Mabel and Joshua’s farm outside of the little town of Clayton. I wandered the fields alone for hours at a time, picked yellow dandelion flowers with Ruthie, and sat on a rock outcropping at a nearby pond just staring into its serene depths until mosquitoes threatened to eat me alive. Having been briefly filled in on the situation by Lela, Mabel had not pushed me for information, choosing to simply take care of Ruth so I could be alone.
Intently focused on a dragonfly dancing along the water inches from my bare feet, I heard no one approach.
“You’re a difficult woman to track down,” Dan said as he laid a hand on my shoulder.
I jumped, not expecting to hear his voice—especially since I had not called on him before leaving town. Blocking the glare of the sun with my hand, I turned on my perch and smiled. Much to my surprise, I was completely relieved and thankful to see him. “I’m glad to see you,” I said before turning back to the pond.
“Are you?” Dan asked, sitting tentatively near me and careful not to touch me. “I only yesterday heard what happened. Are you…are you…okay?”
I shook my head. “I was so scared. I didn’t…he just…” I took a deep breath. “I only stopped shaking today,” I said.
He reached out, almost changed his mind, and then firmly and completely wrapped his arms around me. “I should have been there. I could have protected you,” he whispered into my hair.
I snuggled against his chest and breathed him in, smelling the faintest hint of rubbing alcohol overlaid with perspiration and road dust. “You’re here now. That’s what matters.”
“Did he hurt you?” The sound of his heart pounding in his chest almost drowned out this quiet question.
“Would it change the way you feel about me?”
He squeezed me until I thought I must surely break and planted a kiss on my head. “Nothing you could say would ever change how I feel about you.”
I took a deep breath, and through the tears that sprang up, told him the whole story.
Dan’s eyes broadcast his heart’s pain when I finally turned to look at him several minutes later. He sat quietly, holding my hands between his own, with his eyes locked with my own. A single tear rolled down his cheek, and he said, “I only wish you felt you could trust me enough to tell me when it happened. I’m so sorry this happened to you.”
“Dan, I—” I started to give him some excuse, an empty reason for leaving him in the dark, but I had none. For this man whose heart had slowly taken possession of my own, I could think of no decent explanation of why I left town without telling him.
“You feel safe here, don’t you?” He wiped the tear from his cheek and smiled.
“I suppose.”
“You feel Adlai here, and that gives you comfort.” He knew the truth.
I pulled my hands free and walked away without saying a word. The grass tickled my feet, but I could not smile.
Dan followed, trotting to catch up. He clapped a firm hand on my shoulder and spun me around. I tried to jerk away, but he held tightly.
“Chloe, don’t walk away from me again,” he said. “I’m not done talking to you.”
I took a deep breath and gave him the skunk eye; I wasn’t used to being spoken to so strongly.
“I never said there was anything wrong with you feeling comfort from being close to his family. You love them, and they love you. To tell the truth, I’m glad of it.” He lifted my chin with a finger. “I won’t ever try to take his place. Just give me a chance to love you.”
Tears pooled in my eyes, and I bit my lower lip.
He sighed and pulled me into a hug. “Come here,” he said. I collapsed into his arms and finally felt safe enough for an ugly cry. He seemed almost unsure what to do at this but simply held me tight. “I just wanted to know what it would take for you to feel that safe with me. I love you, and I want to protect you.”
I stopped crying for a moment and looked up at him. As much as I had begun to wish for it, he had never used the l-word before. “Dan?”
“Yes, damn it, I love you. I’ve known it for some time, but I didn’t want you to feel like I was trying to rush you. When this happened and all of a sudden you were gone, I knew I couldn’t wait any longer. I love you, and I don’t want to lose you.”
“I love you too,” I said. Once, I had believed I would never again utter those words to another man the way I once had with Adlai.
He bent down to kiss my lips, pausing only to kiss the tears on my cheeks. Quite simply, that made my heart leap. I kissed him without reservation. “I shouldn’t have left without telling you. I don’t want to lose you either, Dan.” I reached up and ran fingers through his hair.
“I’m not going anywhere without you, Chloe.”
He did, in the end, leave without me. Only after extracting a promise that Ruth and I would return home within days, though. We parted on Mabel and Joshua’s porch. Tears pooled in my eyes, and he kissed my hand.
“When are you going to finally give in to that poor man?” Mabel asked as I shut the door behind me.
I flopped onto the couch and noticed Joshua pull his newspaper up, desperate to cut himself off from conversation. “What are you talking about?” I asked.
Mabel flipped the dishtowel she had been using over her shoulder and sat next to me. “You know exactly what I mean. Don’t play games with me, woman. He wants to marry you, doesn’t he?”
I could only nod and sigh.
“Why make him wait? Dan’s a good man. He loves you and Ruthie. The question is, do you love him?”
Joshua cleared his throat and stood abruptly, folding the newspaper carefully. “I think I’ll go check on the horses,” he said. “Goodnight.”
Mabel smiled and nodded. I busied myself picking at invisible lint on my dress.
“Well?” Mabel said after the door closed.
Tears welled in my eyes, and I nodded.
“Then why on earth won’t you say yes, Chloe?”
“It’s not as simple as before. I’ve got Ruthie to consider. She needs a father’s influence in her life, but I have mixed feelings about someone else taking that role. I mean, how would Adlai feel about that?”
Mabel laid a hand on my knee, and she took a deep breath. “Honey, that child never got the chance to know her father and how much he loved her, but you can’t let that keep you from loving someone else. It seems to me that Dan loves her more than anyone could expect him to love another man’s child.”
Deep down, I knew she was right. I also knew I loved Dan enough to spend the rest of my life with him.
“It also means letting go,” Mabel said quietly.
“What do you mean?” I asked.
“You have to stop thinking of yourself as Adlai’s widow and get ready to think of yourself as Dan’s wife. Honey, you don’t have to hurt like this. You have just as much right as anybody to be happy. Take it.”
January 2, 2009
My First Book-- Scene Seventeen
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my book--scenes
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